


Legacy

by CappuccettoRosso



Series: Cotton Candy Bingo [1]
Category: Gokusen - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-09
Packaged: 2017-11-18 06:44:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CappuccettoRosso/pseuds/CappuccettoRosso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took losing something precious, to make clear what was really important in life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legacy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for cottoncandy_bingo prompt: parenthood.

* * *

_Joy and sorrow are very much the same._

_The tears for the one are as the tears for the other._

_\--Anonymous, Gosenshu 1189_

**

It took losing something precious, to make clear what was really important in life.

Kuroda Ryuuichirou carried many regrets, some weighing more heavily than others. However, the heaviest regret he has is also the one which he will never forgive himself for: his actions (or inactions) that ultimately drove his only daughter away.  

His utter refusal to reconcile with her when he had the chance.

He’d often thought back on those months before Yuriko’s unexpected death, and more than once wished he could reach back across space and time and punch his younger self. He had been so arrogant, so self-righteous. He had seen her daughter’s suffering and sudden departure from her own home as an affront to their family, to everything they were as _yakuza_. He hadn’t seen her actions for what they really were: a woman’s last desperate act for self-preservation.

He had known for years, that Yuriko, unlike her mother and the other women in the gang—she was particularly kind-hearted. Her soul bleed for every injury Ryuuichirou sustained, for every death they suffered. On the nights the members of the gang were off on raids, Yuriko would make it so she could spend the night at a friend’s house; or when she couldn’t leave the compound, she’d lock herself in her room and not come out for days at a time. Ryuuichirou had to break down the door sometimes, to get her to come out and interact with the family again; hell, to eat meals!

Everything came to a head, when Yuriko lost her heart to another. Watching Kousuke return every night with a new wound, or those rare occasions, practically bleeding to death—it broke her heart little by little until finally...her heart splintered.

She fled with the bleeding fragments of her heart and never looked back.

At first, Ryuuichirou thought, foolishly, that Yuriko was being petulant. As a child, Yuriko was a quiet little girl, and though she hardly misbehaved, she was prone to sulking. This inclination stayed with her, even as she grew. Knowing this, he was confident, then, that she would return, once this little tantrum passed.  If not, Kousuke, above everyone in the group, was the most able to handle her when she was in one of her moods, and could usually talk her out of them.

It still filled him with rage, remembering how condescending he’d been toward his own daughter.

When weeks turned to months, and she still refused to come back home, even rejecting any communication from both Kousuke and Ryuuichirou, himself—it was only then that Ryuuichirou realized that this wasn’t like Yuriko’s usual dramatics; that her continued disobedience wasn’t going to recede; and that perhaps, she was truly intending to go and stay away.

Ryuuichirou had been furious and immediately set out to find his daughter, fully intending to bring her back, even if it meant dragging her kicking and screaming. He’d thought: how unseemly, the Oujo ignoring her Kumichou’s demands.

However, that changed when he found her. His anger fled, burned out, leaving him hollow and numb, when Ryuuichirou discovered her married and heavy with child.

Yuriko had fled her home, turned her back to her _yakuza_ family, to him, and created a completely different life for herself with a _katagi_.

Worse still, she had gotten herself pregnant with _that man’s_ child, blatantly ignoring the hallow traditions of the Kuroda- _ikka_.

It had been the ultimate betrayal, in his mind.

Ryuuichirou hadn’t confronted her like he’d planned; he hadn’t even let her know he knew about her new life. He left her, without saying a word, preferring instead a vow to himself that he would never speak to her again.

For all intents and purposes, Yuriko was dead to him, like he apparently was to her.

He’d never acted more of a fool in his life than he did in that moment.

He didn’t change his mind, nor did he allow anyone to change his mind. His temper grew short. Kousuke quickly learned not to bring up Yuriko in his company, especially after Ryuuichirou ripped into him one too many times. The rest of the household followed Kousuke’s example and didn’t speak Yuriko’s name out loud. It wasn’t long before Kousuke left, with Ryuuichirou’s blessing, to establish a group of his own.

Then, she was truly dead to him.

The news of her death was what finally pierced the numbness in his heart.

That day is forever imprinted in his mind. It was a Tuesday morning when the police came with the news. Everyone in the compound had expected the usual hassle from the _ō_ _kami_ and had been more than prepared to give them a hard time. Kyoutarou-san would tell him almost a year later; he had seen something in the young officer’s expression that made him reign in the other members of the gang and seek out the Kumichou.

Ryuuichirou hadn’t been aware Yuriko had kept him as her emergency contact. He had thought that she’d erased his name from the list, like she had removed him from every other aspect of her life. Apparently, he had been wrong, even in this; because Yuriko, his sweet, ever gentle Yuri-chan, had still trusted her father to do right by her when it really matter.

Yuriko had still loved him, despite everything that had been said to each before her departure, and left unsaid afterwards; she loved her father enough to want him to know immediately if something bad were to happen to her.

This simple but profound truth had shattered him utterly.

Ryuuichirou doesn’t remember the time between receiving the initial news and burying his daughter. Even the wake they’d held at the compound, with the branch families of the Ooedo- _kumi_ coming to pay their respects—they were a blur in Ryuuichirou’s mind. His entire being had drown in a different kind of numbness. One which came from nerves feeling so much pain, they simply ceased functioning.

Losing Kyouko hadn’t hurt this much. Then again, no words have been left unspoken between them. Kyouko had very much known the depth of his feelings for her. Yuriko, however, had died knowing only uncertainty of his feelings for her.

That much had been apparent in the will she left. She had begged him, _begged him_ , to shelter her daughter, to take her in and raise her, and not punish her for Yuriko’s sins by casting her aside.

Yamaguchi Kumiko.

In more ways than one, Kumiko saved him that day, when she first arrived at the compound. She’d had looked so small, so fragile and very much like Yuriko.

Her eyes, though, were Kyouko reborn.  

Kumiko’s eyes were fierce and without guile, and although there had been sadness in them, she’d also looked very determined to take on the world, even at eight years old and a newly made orphan.

No…never an orphan…

She’d had family all along; Ryuuichirou made sure of that. He’d made sure Kumiko never felt out of place, or that she wasn’t wanted.

Most of all, he’d made sure Kumiko grew up happy, because in Kumiko, Ryuuichirou would seek absolution from his daughter. He would be a better parent to Kumiko than he had been for Yuriko, and he would love her unconditionally like she deserved, like Yuriko deserved. Ryuuichirou can only hope that, where ever his Yuri-chan is, that she is happy and knows that he is trying to do right by her, if only through her daughter, Kumiko.

It’s the least Ryuuichirou could do.

* * *

 


End file.
